Okie Sister

Crumbtastic

I’ve blogged about some of my little OCD quirks (monkisms), but I’ve not narced on Hubby for his. His may be actually more severe than mine. When we first started dating, he had all his shoes lined up neatly in his closet floor and his shirts were hung in ascending sleeve length and also according to collar detail (or something like that).

I’m always amazed when I open the peanut butter jar and it is smooth and flat on the surface. Not sure how he even does that. So imagine my shock this morning when I open the tub o’ margarine and see this.

 

Okay, first of all...crumbs, yuck. More importantly, how the heck did this get all lopsided. I don’t understand... but instead of buttery toast, I‘m opting for cereal (if the date of the milk is not expired). Somebody’s got some ‘splaining to do.

He's Back

Old Man Winter, that is. My sister’s favorite time of the year.

Thursday the wind was blowing about 50mph. We are talking about garden planter, metal yard furniture toppling wind. I sat in my office shivering all day with my fingernails turning purple.

This event begins with the nonsensical changing of the clocks every fall. Suddenly you are driving home from work at the end of the day, trying to beat the setting sun. You can’t understand why you are sweating, but it’s because you had the car heater on that morning. You switch it over to a/c. Of course, the next morning you are freezing because you are half way to work before you realize you still have the a/c on. It’s a vicious cycle. Until it becomes freezing cold every day.

Then you have to turn on the home heater. At our house, this is followed by the smoke alarm going off. And no, the dogs did not run outside to safety. That disgusting “first heater smell” takes about a day to wear off. Next your skin dries out from the lack of humidity in the house. The dogs cringe when you go to pet them because they don’t know if you are going to “shock” them with the static electricity that’s built up.

You rush to the salon to stock up on hair products (for fly-a-ways) and the pharmacy for lip balm, lotion, tissues, and cold products. You sit around sniffling all day, waiting for your nose to start peeling from blowing it all the time. You get that little dangling piece of skin at the opening of your nostril that makes you look like you have a permanent booger.

Yes, winter….such good times.

The grass is dead, all the flowers are dead, the trees are bare. It’s too cold to get outside with the dogs. You think twice about every event outside the home, weighing how much you want to go against how much you enjoy staying warm. Also you have to consider the time and energy it takes to de-ice your car prior to any outing.

You see how far you can drive on empty before completely running out of gas, because you don’t want to stand outside in the wind to fill up. Plus I get shocked every time I get out of my car, so I also get to worry about exploding at the gas pump. Whoopee! (while writing this post, I found a gadget to eliminate this.)

I especially love those days when the wind is so strong you can’t get out of your car because it keeps blowing the door shut…sometimes on your leg. Carrying anything, like a bucket of mail into the post office, also become a challenge.

Some folks like the winter because of the holidays I guess. The dreaded holidays….when you spend all day cooking for a houseful of people, who spend all of five minutes eating, and then you are left with two day’s worth of dishes to wash. Or you spend money you don’t really have, at crowded store you don’t want to be in, for present you don’t know if the recipient will like. What’s not to love about all that? Look, I know some people love this “most joyous” time of the year….I’m just not one of them.

Here’s the five things I do like about winter:

• Days off work
• Soups, stews, chili, and other hot foods
• Hot chocolate with tons of marshmallows
• More days off work

And the number one reason I like winter:

Wearing gloves everywhere, so the Monk in me doesn’t have to touch anything

.

This blog post brought to you by SAD. I proud member since 1990.

Sister Sightings (11)

Girl Power: Lt. Gen. Ann E. Dunwoody was nominated by President George W. Bush to serve as head of the Army’s supply arm, making her the first female four star general in the U.S. Army.
"I am very honored but also very humbled today with this announcement," said Dunwoody. "I grew up in a family that didn't know what glass ceilings were. This nomination only reaffirms what I have known to be true about the military throughout my career...that the doors continue to open for men and women in uniform."
"There is no one more surprised than I - except, of course, my husband. You know what they say, 'Behind every successful woman there is an astonished man.'"
What you might not know is that Dunwoody began her career right here at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. We Okies salute you ma’am.

Local News: Central Baptist Church (where Okie Sister met Hubby back in the 70’s) recently made plans to open a new learning academy at their church. Does this private school, Trinity Christian Academy, constitute a new use of said facility? That was the question that was put before building inspectors, the fire marshal, a slew of lawyers, and finally the city council this week. When an agreement could not be reached, the church was left to proceed with said plans for their school. Meaning, they do not have to install all the upgraded FIRE SAFETY measures suggested.
Fire Marshal Mark Mitchell said he had several concerns when he did a walk-through inspection over the summer, including corridors that pull air - and, potentially, smoke - through the building and an interior construction of combustible timber.
A church representative previously stated they didn’t have the money to make any upgrades. They have reportedly purchased several new smoke detectors and fire extinguishers for the education wing.
What was bizarre about all this, is pastor Keith Miles’s statement that he doesn’t think the city is correct in “inserting” itself into the church’s ministry. Max Sasseen, church board member, said church members were “amazed” the city would put itself in a position to judge what subjects would be taught in the classroom. Subjects? Huh?
What’s that got to do with the price of VBS Kool-aid in China?
I’m pretty sure the city’s only concern is that the students don’t end up trapped inside a burning building. But way to deflect guys, because accidents never happen...

I had just mentioned that Lawton is expanding with new housing additions. Yesterday at one of those construction sites, a 29 year-old man was trapped when a trench he was laying new sewer lines in, began to collapse around him. Local emergency personnel, (fire, police, public works) along with specialist from OKC, worked for 12 hours to free him from the 13 foot deep hole.
Reminded me of little Baby Jessica caught in that Midland, Texas well so many years ago. My own Texas baby daughter was only a few months older at the time.
This story has a good outcome as well. The worker, Alex Cabrera, is in stable condition with no broken bones at an OKC hospital.* The newspaper made note that Cabrera did not speak much English.
I’m sure there will be a full investigation to determine the cause of the collapse.
Okie Sister asks, is this the same housing addition that Toby Keith and Barry Switzer are investors in?

Tech News: The FCC recently okayed use of unlicensed portions of the television airwaves known as “white spaces” to deliver wireless broadband service. This would be another way besides telephone and cable to received Internet service. This was over objections from TV broadcasters who argued that this could disrupt their signals. I guess we will find out in February after the big switcheroo from analog to digital broadcasting.
I personally won’t be able to tell, since I already have DISRUPTION OF MY SIGNAL. The local ABC channel coming through my Dish Network breaks up into colorful pixilation blobs on a regular basis and often times the sound does not sync up, making me feel like I’m watching an old Kung Fu movie.
If not for Eli Stone and Dancing With The Stars, I wouldn’t even watch this dang channel. Dish Network informs me they are aware of the problem. Being aware is good...

Monkisms: An Australian woman says she will have nightmares for the rest of her life after abdominal surgery to remove her gall bladder. Rebecca Jones awoke just as the operation started. She felt every cut of the surgeon’s knife but she could not move or speak because she was paralyzed by the anesthesia.
"I was freaking out. Then I managed to move my hand and someone in the room noticed it. He said, 'she's just moved her hand'. But they kept going. I was trying to scream, to do anything"
In a written statement, the hospital conceded that Jones was “awake” but denied being AWARE she was suffering any pain.
“A study in March of this year found that as many as 30,000 American wake during surgery each year.” Holy Crap!

Elsewhere, Okie Sister recently had a traumatic nightmare about mold, after seeing a tiny spot of it near drain in sink.

ROTGLMAO: I happened to spy the Big Lots circular in today's newspaper. They have a new Online Deal of the Day which they are promoting with a colorful new cartoon character, “Anita Deal.” Hmmm...she looks really familiar.

*Update 12-19-18: Alex Cabrera suffered from crush syndrome and has since had both legs amputated below the knee. Another part of the story is that there was another worker in the trench when it collapsed. Cabrera help him escape and he immediately started digging Cabrera out.

She Got The Look

I was headed to bed the other night when I discovered a little cricket hopping near my pillow. In my mind, I thought, "I'll just scoop it up and carry it outside." I stretched my cupped hands straight out in front of me and heard the most awful ghostly wailing. WhaaaAwww! I was frozen there in place with arms outstretched and realized that the sound was coming from my inner Monk self. There was no way that this insect was going to be touching my palms. About this time, my husband entered the room to find out what all the shrieking was about. "Get it," I said, "but don't kill it; take it outside." And he did just that, without hesitation.

I recently wrote about how he had being falling down on this husbandly duty. Now, I thought, maybe he would be able to reclaim his title as Chief Bug Killer.

On Tuesday, we left work for lunch. I was driving because he had loaned his truck out to a customer. Which is an odd thing for him to do, but it was to a member of the local press and it’s always smart to stay on the media’s good side I suppose. He doesn't particularly like to ride in my car, but his hunger for food outweighed his dislike of wedging into what he refers to as 'my clown car." By the way, I drive an CRV. So it's not like I drive a compact or some two door car like my younger brother does. He did look pretty uncomfortable riding in that car.

Anyway, we had just rounded the corner from work and I was cleaning the Oklahoma dirt rain off of my windshield, which I do quite often. Hey, I like to see where I'm going! My younger brother understands and shares this Monkism too. He supplied me with gallon bottles of windshield washer fluid with RainX as a present on a past visit. Thanks for feeding my addiction, bro. By the way, I often ask my husband to clean his windshield when I'm riding in his truck. I admit, that may be a little extreme.

So, I'm cleaning my window and my husband says something about a spider. "On the inside?" I ask. "Uh Yeeeahhh," he stammers. "Let me take a picture," I say excitedly. Because that is what we do now, document every mundane ritual of our lives in case we want to blog about them later. "Huuuurrryyyy," he says as I reach in my purse for my camera and snap a picture all while still driving the downtown city streets. As he grabs a piece of paper or napkin or something to squish the tiny spider with, I’m clicking away with my camera. Of course the spider drops right between his legs, so now he is trying to stand up in my clown car and capture the escaping arachnid. At this point I am laughing so hard that I'm making those embarrassing snorting sounds. He gave me "The Look", and I remembered the last time I had seen "The Look" while driving down the road snapping photos of him.

It was a hot Oklahoma day. I was sitting at my computer at work trying to get caught up on some projects. My mother-in-law walked over from the main office to mine and calmly informed me that she thought I should take my husband to the hospital, because he had cut himself. I hurried over to investigate and saw the blood streaming down the side of his face and the blood soaked rags littered around him. I was not nearly as calm as his mom had just been. "Ya think?" I proclaimed loudly. If you have ever seen a head wound, they bleed like crazy and look much worse than they probably are, but with all the blood it's sometimes difficult to see the actual damage. I gathered up my belongings and my husband and headed out for the ER.

What happened, I found out, was he had been called to the back of the shop by one of the mechanics to look at a problem underneath a vehicle that was raised up in the air on a lift. While exiting from underneath, he raised up before he had cleared the bumper and cut what I later called a "furrow in his noggin." And not furrow like a deep wrinkle, but furrow as in a deep trench made by a plow.

For some reason, he did not appreciate me documenting his head injury on the way to the hospital. He gave me a bloodier gory version of "The Look," as I snapped photos while driving all the way across town to the good hospital; the one that won't let you bleed to death in their waiting room.

In my defense, we often visit this emergency room, as my husband is somewhat akin to Tim "The Toolman" Taylor from the TV show Home Improvement. And yes, that is the photo that started the 24 hour search I wrote about yesterday. I’m not joking about the frequent trips to the ER; he even documented another one on his own blog. To further prove my point, while searching for the furrow picture, I discovered that he has a folder on his computer labeled Boo Boos. In it I found photos of fingers with the tips missing, stab wounds, broken toes, stitches, bruises, etc. I rest my case.

Now, he was able to capture that little lunch time spider in my vehicle and I was about to turn the crown back over to him. Later that night, however, when he was not at home, I was met by this huge beast in my bath tub. Now, that's a spider! What the heck was I going to do? I turned on the shower water thinking I would rinse it down the drain. This monster put up a lengthy fight as it swam its way upstream like a salmon. The dogs even came into the bathroom to investigate why the crazy lady was running the shower with the curtain open and splashing water all over the room. Finally, I was able to win the battle and down the drain the spider went. And yes, I ran hot water for a few minutes to make sure it wouldn’t crawl it’s way back up and get me.

So, I guess I will retain the title of Chief Bug Killer for the time being.

The O Files

I’ve spent the last 24 hours looking for a picture that I wanted to tell you a story about. I even booted up an old computer, so I could go though a stack of ancient floppy disks. I give up.

I can confirm now that I was not actually abducted by aliens the last half of 2006, as previously thought, because I finally found pictures from that time period. Good to know.

Should I tell you that these files were on my husband’s computer, the one at work that crashes every day, and that I asked him at the beginning of the 24 hour search if he had them? Probably not.

I will tell you that those pictures plus the ones from the middle of 2000 to present are now organized in Monk-like chronological order, with the date and an easy identifiable name like Father’s Day, Storm Damage, Flowers, Mom’s Birthday, Dogs, etc. These are stored on both my new computer and my back up hard drive. This took forever to move pictures around and label each folder, but it will save me tons of time and frustration in the future.

So, I went to get a picture from Christmas 2006 to show that the aliens hadn’t visited and what do I find …orbs floating around.

Of course, psychic Sylvia Brown would say that those are angels.

Sister Sightings (6)

Monkism: What will our Monk do without his beloved shrink? Actor Stanley Kamel, age 65, was found dead in his home in LA on Tuesday. Kamel's last role was playing Dr. Charles Kroger on the popular USA Network show Monk.

Kamel also acted in Murder One, Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place, Cagney & Lacey, Hunter, Hill Street Blues, and Days of Our Lives; to name only of few from the hundreds of shows he has appeared in. He was even in one episode of Star Trek: TNG, Where No One Has Gone Before playing Kosinski.

He once said he was most proud of his work on LA Law were he played Mark Gilliam, one of the first characters on television to have AIDS. He said Tom Hanks and Jonathan Demme studied those episodes long before they started making the movie Philadelphia.

TV/Movies: The NRA has lost their most vocal representative and past president, Mr. Charlton Heston. Some of my favorite Heston quotes: "The law-abiding citizen is entitled to own a rifle, pistol, or shotgun. The right, put simply, shall not be infringed." "From my cold, dead hands!"€And let's not forget: "Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

We all have our favorite Heston movie scenes that will stick with us forever, like the reaction to the Statue of Liberty on the beach. I wrote about one of my favorites Heston movies, Naked Jungle. Not one of his most popular, but I like it. Rest in peace, Mr. C.

Racing News: Mark Martin was inducted into the Texas Motor Sports Hall of Fame on April 2, 2008. "It's really a great honor to be recognized for what we have been able to achieve at Texas," said Martin. "I've always enjoyed going there."

The Hall of Fame ceremony benefits Happy Hill Farm Academy, a working farm that helps children with a broad range of behavioral and academic issues sometimes as a result of abuse and neglect. You may have heard Dr. Phil talk about it.

In other racing news: Chrissy Wallace daughter of NASCAR driver Mike Wallace, recently made her racing debut, driving to a 18th place finish in Martinsville in the Craftsman Truck Series. She stayed on the lead lap and maneuvered around several wrecks. You, go girl!

Local Celebrity: Ft. Sill Commanding General MG Peter Vangjel and his wife Joanne pictured here with Miranda Lambert before her recent concert.

Food Find: Oreo Cakesters. Do not buy these; they are too delicious for words. Similar to a Little Debbie's product but with that rich Oreo chocolate. I had been fighting the urge to try these ever since I saw it on the Walgreens check out aisle. Excellent product placement, by the way, for the impulse shopper lurking inside us all.

That's Kind Of Backwards

Thursday morning I walked into the bathroom and had the overwhelming need to ....... rearrange everything on the countertop.

For some reason, I wanted to move the container that holds my toothbrush, comb and makeup from the right side of the sink to the left side; which is farther away from the toilet. I have almost knocked my comb in there before; caught it mid air. Plus you hear those horror stories about germs floating around.

What, you don’t hear stories about germs? I guess those are the voices in my head.

Anyway, everything that was on the right is now located on the left and vise versa. This takes some getting used to. It’s like backwards day or something.

Then, I went into the kitchen and felt the need to remove an article that has been stuck up on my refrigerator with a magnet for the past ten years. Seriously, it’s from the USA Weekend March 6-8, 1998.

The title of the article is "Monster TVs: Why I surrendered to my husband’s big-screen dream." by Jackie Leffert Rubenstein. Like the author of this article, my husband finally wore me down after several years and purchased a big ugly black box of a big screen TV for our family room. And just like in her story, a compromise was reached that this monstrosity was to be housed in a nice piece of furniture with doors that closed so I wouldn’t have to stare at it all the time. But unlike the author, I never got my 'exquisite' entertainment center with closable doors.

So, when I saw this story in the paper back in the late 90‘s, I had to tear it out and adhere it to the front of the fridge as a constant reminder to my husband of the deal we had struck. You notice that the paper has turned brown and is crumbling with age, right? Good thing I didn’t hold my breath waiting, huh?

So, cut to the present. The big ugly black box is fading fast and needs to be replaced. The dish box is also on the fritz, so it’s definitely time for an HD upgrade. Of course, the new TV will be one of those flat screen numbers that sit on top of a piece of furniture.

I already have a TV console picked out; almost bought it the other day. Too bad I can’t afford the 60” TV we covet to place on top of it yet. See, I told you it was backwards day….

   

Something's Bugging Me

My husband has not been living up to his husbandly duties lately.

I’ve had to kill two bugs in the house myself. Well, I couldn’t just let them crawl off into ... who knows where. Both of these monsters were spotted crawling across the living room carpet. Each time I picked up a piece of newspaper that my husband conveniently left on the coffee table and proceeded to squash the creepy crawly thing. This kept me from getting bug guts on my shoe and if you are lucky, the squished bug sticks to the newsprint for easy removal. He was not at home to witness these expert kills.

Saturday, however, he was home. I spotted a small spider repelling down the arm of his office chair. Time for him to redeem himself as Chief Bug Killer. He was on the couch reading the newspaper when I told him of my discovery. What he did next, must be told. Instead of bringing a section of the newspaper THAT WAS IN HIS HAND, he grabbed my Home magazine off the coffee table, opened it up, and smashed the spider in the middle of the pages.

“What the ….? You did not just do that,” I exclaimed.

“You’ve already read it, right?” he answered.

“If I didn’t want that magazine, I would have thrown it away.” I said. “Man, next time I’m not going to tell you about the spider in your chair. It can just crawl around and make a nest and have babies for all I care.” (I wasn’t over reacting or anything.)

He proceeded into the kitchen with my magazine and acted like he was trying to find the smashed spider somewhere inside its pages. Needless to say, that magazine will now be thrown away. Oh by the way, I threw out Saturdays newspaper too; in its pristine non-bug contaminated condition. It was conveniently left on the coffee table AGAIN.

The Box

I have to confess again that I’m so unorganized, I can’t find things. Just this week I was wanting a particular recipe, so I had to turn to …ba ba bum….“The Box.”

For years I have cut recipes from magazines, collected recipes from product labels and other packaging, and utilized various other methods of piling up recipes.

Obviously “The Box” used to have another purpose. Yes, it does have The Little Mermaid written on the lid. Once upon a time, this container housed my daughter’s Ariel doll and all her accessories. I’m not sure Ariel spent much time in this box; seems like she was always in the bathtub singing. At least I think that was her in there singing and splashing around.

Earlier this year, in an effort to get my act together, I went through every recipe in “The Box” and pared the collection down considerably. I mean if I haven’t tried the recipe in ten years, would I ever. Absolutely not. Plus, in an effort to eat healthier, a lot of the recipes no longer fit into my lifestyle. These had to go; gooey cakes and rich pies and other desserts that my diabetic husband can no longer eat.

My intention was to place as many recipes as I could into protective sleeves and then put the sleeves into a binder. I didn’t get very far with this task; somehow I got side tracked.

My ultimate goal is to have all my recipes in one location. I know I will never have them all in files on my computer, so I don’t even go there yet in my mind. I have so many projects, that I often get overwhelmed and don’t know exactly where to begin. There are many tasks 95% done around here and just as many that have never been started.

By the way, I did not find the recipe that I was searching for in …ba ba bum…“The Box.” In my search I did however find the recipe that I could not find last time I was looking through my collection. It was not found in "The Box," it was actually in Box #2. Yes, I know, this is shameful. When one box was full, I started a second one. Since my purging earlier this year, maybe I will now be able to combine the two.

Okay, so I’m still looking for one recipe; I’m sure it will eventually turn up. In the meantime let me share the one that I was looking for the last time. This was last month when I was telling about my secret love of “The Bread” and how it was the lunch ladies fault for making those fantastic greasy topped school rolls. At the time, I could not for the life of me find my recipe card for these delicious flaky bundles of joy, School Hot Rolls. I actually acquired this recipe card at a garage sale, so don’t really have any idea of the background. I was just hoping it would be close to the rolls in my memory. Well, to sample the recipe and make a lovely picture of the results, I had to go to the store and buy some of the ingredients. I don’t bake much, so honestly, I was out of all of the items except water and salt.

The result is that these rolls are very good, but they're still not my elementary school rolls. So I will keep looking for that ultimate recipe.

School Hot Rolls

• 2 ¼ cups water
• ¼ cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 2 tablespoons active dry yeast
• 6 ½ cups four, sifted
• 1 ¾ cups dry milk powder
• ¼ cup shortening, melted

1. Mix water, sugar, salt and yeast together.
2. Pour the mixture over dry ingredients and shortening which have been placed in an extra large bowl. Mix combined ingredients about 9 minutes on medium speed, or until dough leaves sides of the bowl.
3. Shape 2 ounce pieces into 25 rolls. Brush the tops with more melted shortening.
4. Cover and let rise in warm place until increased two or three times.
5. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 to 14 minutes.

On back of card is written: 100 portions

• 2 ¼ quart water
• ½ cup sugar
• ¼ cup salt
• ½ cup plus 1 2/3 tablespoons dry active yeast
• 6 ½ quarts flour, sifted
• 6 ½ cups dry milk powder
• ¾ cups shortening, melted

Sister Sightings (5)

Local News: Two females started a food fight at the local Furr’s restaurant this week. When one of the women knocked over a man’s walker, his son asked them to stop. This resulted in the man and his 72 year old father being assaulted. The son ended up with a loose tooth and the father suffered a broken nose in the brawl. Police are searching for a 37-year-old black female, about 5 feet, 6 inches weighing 260 pounds, and a 20-year-old black female, about 5 feet, 7 inches weighing 110 pounds. They fled the scene in a four door gray Chevy Malibu with missing hubcaps.

Monkisms: Barbicide, the blue liquid that barbers have soaked their combs and scissors in for years, is coming out with wet wipes. The new owners of the company hope the public’s fear of germs will give the product new life.

Cute Picture: Cover of this week’s Family Circle magazine - these adorable dog face cupcakes. Their little noses are all made with marshmallows. Directions inside magazine.

Food Find: Musselman’s Fruit Spread Apple - Cherry - Peach. Low sugar, no fat, great flavor. Tastes like apple butter, only better. Good with peanut butter. You do know that apple butter makes a great hot grilled sandwich, don’t you?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Now go drink yourself a green beer.

Funny Cartoon:

Protect Me

I guess the word is out about my Monkisms. Today I received a 700+ page catalog in my mailbox for safety equipment and protective products. This thing took up the whole mailbox. I poured through the pages like it was the Sears Wishbook.

Here are some of the highlights.

They have coveralls and shoe covers; starting with the inexpensive one time use, tyvek styles.

They have flame resistant coveralls, coveralls to protect against chemical spills, all the way up to the Level A Suits. Sexy.

I did get excited about the 64 pages of glove selections!

Here’s a glove for people who poke forks into their hands. Now that’s useful.

 

How about this pair made for handling raw chicken? My husband could use these instead of those ‘sissy’ gloves next time he makes chicken and dumplings. They are even cut resistant.

Also useful for men working in the kitchen is this attractive hairnet and matching beard net ensemble. Now that’s funny.

I might want to post these signs nearby; they demonstrate how to mangle and severe your fingers. Oh, I didn't know.

I wonder if they make a sign for people who raise up and bash their head while crawling underneath their desk.

Need an all-over head net? This protects you from the elements when venturing outdoors.

As do their wide selection of face masks and respirators.

I like this pleated style; it looks like a duck bill.

And let’s not forget about the CPRotector; it's for people who are willing to administer CPR as long as they don’t have to actually touch your mouth.

You can even order CPR training manikins from this company.

I call this picture “5 Heads in a Duffle Bag.”

Hope

Here’s an example of the diametrical nature of my life. I’ve already spoken about some of my Monkisms, so you might assume that I’m some sort of neat freak. This could not be more false; I’m actually kind of a slob. However, I am disturbed by my things not being neat and tidy. Mainly the problem is I don’t have a place for everything, so naturally things can’t be in their place. Compounding this problem has been a year of home renovation. This involved clearing items from one space, in order to work in that area of the house, and piling them up in another area of the house. One day I hope to have enough rooms renovated to accommodate all my piles of stuff. Oh, and there is the pile of stuff in the garage awaiting a garage sale. See, I am also trying to get rid of some of my piles of stuff.

Anyway, back to my story….

One day I went to get my Viva Santana double cd set to put in my car. Being that this is my favorite cd, I decided to make a copy of it and have the copy in my car so that nothing would happen to the beloved original discs. I think I laid the cd down by my computer somewhere. Not sure why I didn’t go ahead and copy it at that moment, but I didn’t. When I did go to copy it, of course, I could no longer find it. Well for the last three months or more, I have looked all over my home, office, and car searching for Viva Santana. I just recently admitted to my husband that I’m such a mess that I lost my favorite music cd. Not that my messiness comes as any surprise to him, he lives with it, after all. I have held out hope that some day my cd would reappear just like my “Hope” did that one time.

“Hope” being Hope Brady, a character on Days of Our Lives, played by the beautiful Kristian Alfonso. I had a January 1986 Redbook magazine that she graced the cover of. Inside this magazine were some of my favorite recipes. They were from Ed’s Diner in Chicago. Ed serves up real food, blue plate special style in his famous fifties diner. Ed’s Meat Loaf and his German Chocolate Pie were always favorites around my house.

Well “Hope” (aka the Redbook magazine) got caught up in one of those companies coming, I don’t have time to clean my house, let’s scoop everything into a box and hide it, cleaning frenzies. (Okay, people, do not pretend like you have never done this before!) Well, it was as if “Hope” had vanished off the face of the earth. I searched high and low for months, muttering to myself, “I’ve lost Hope, I‘ve lost Hope.” My husband found this very amusing; as he also found the happy dance I did on the day that I found it again. I think I was cleaning out the garage over a year later when I went through a box of stuff and squealed out that I had found my “Hope.” Oh happy day! I ran through the house waving the magazine above my head. Now I could make my meatloaf again and also that fantastic pie with the chocolate and coconut; and that tuna noodle casserole and that fruity Jell-O dessert. Mmm….

(I’ll put all the recipes on my recipe link over there on the side of this page.)

So the moral of the story is, never lose “Hope.”

My internet was slower than usual today. This happens a lot of times after big thunderstorms like we had this weekend. It is usually remedied by rebooting the computer under my desk that came as part of my wireless internet connection. So, there I was crawling under my desk, in the middle of a no man’s land of a hundred tangled wires, when I look over to the left and see some floppy disks back behind another computer that I don’t use anymore, but it is still sitting there for some unknown reason. Well, I haven’t used any of those floppies for awhile, but I used to use them in my camera; and anyway I should probably pick up the disks that are collecting dust under my desk, even if they don’t possibly have pictures on them. This was easier 'thought' than done. I had to pull that computer out a little bit and wedge my arm back behind it to reach the floppies. And yes, I did bang my head underneath the desk just like my husband would have done. So, I’m reaching back there and pulling out not only floppies but also some recordable cds and yep, you guessed it, Viva Santana! Oh happy day, again.

See, never lose hope!

Sister Sightings (2)

New SciFi Series: The animated series "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" will debut on Cartoon Network in the fall. The TV series will follow a theatrical release for "Clone Wars" on Aug. 15.

"I felt there were a lot more 'Star Wars' stories left to tell," says creator George Lucas, who's executive producing the animated series. "I was eager to start telling some of them through animation and, at the same time, push the art of animation forward." The CG-animated "Clone Wars" will be set in the time between Episodes II and III of the movie franchise and follow Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme Amidala in their struggle to keep the galaxy free.

Does anyone else think these characters look scary, as do a lot of cartoons these days?

I freaked out when I first saw that show Zoboomafoo on PBS. Its got a flying, talking lemur puppet thing. It's part live-action, part claymation, and part mind-tripping weirdness.

More TV New: Both “Chuck” and “Life” have been picked up by NBC for a second season. Imagine two shows I watch not being cancelled, that’s so rare.

In Memorium: Ron Leavitt, a veteran television writer and producer best known for co-creating Married with Children, has died of lung cancer at the age of 60. He also worked on The Jeffersons and Silver Spoons. On creating the dysfunctional Bundy family, Leavitt said the show was his "adolescent rebellion against all those shows where everyone sat together at the dinner table and got along . . . and solved the world's problems in 22 minutes." He called it the anti-Cosby show.

"He created that show to make people laugh and show life isn't perfect," said the model and actress Jessica Hahn, with whom he had a relationship. You remember Hahn, the former church secretary, best known for her sex scandal with televangelist Jim Baker.

In the News: Remember all those UFO sightings back in January around Stephenville, Texas? One of the witnesses is now being harassed by military aircraft flying over his property both day and night. Low flying helicopters are disturbing his livestock and his sleep. Why would they do this if not to shut him up?

Maybe it’s all part of that secret military mission to shoot down the spy satellite that is currently hurling towards Earth.

Funny photo: My father in-law emailed me this picture titled Fox Hunt. I got a good laugh from it and it’s sound wisdom: “When you are in deep shit, look straight ahead, keep your mouth shut and say nothing.”

 

Top Dog: Uno, a 3-year-old beagle made history at the Westminster Kennel Club show, becoming the first of his breed ever to win the top prize. He was clearly the fan favorite and got a standing ovation from the sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden. Handler Aaron Wilkerson called Uno a "people's dog" and a "merry little hound."

Monkisms: Watching woman cough into her hand at the Korean buffet line and then reach for the serving tongs. (We were all taught to cover our mouths, weren’t we? People, the new school of thinking is, cough into your arm or shoulder.)

Someone pointed out to me that my opening of doors with my elbow, with my purse or with my hand pulled up into the sleeve of my jacket was unusual, to say the least. (You mean everybody doesn’t do this?)

Monkisms?

Monk is a character on the USA network; characters are welcome there.

After the mysterious death of his wife, Monk developed a severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder, or OCD. Some of his phobias include germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, and elevators; in this exact order. When asked how he could stand on top of a table to escape a loose snake, given his fear of heights, he answered simply, “Snakes trump heights.” Everything has to be perfectly aligned and orderly in Monkland.

He gets by in life with the help of his shrink, a personal assistant and his photographic memory. His assistant is always at the ready with a “wipe, wipe, wipe.” His memory enables him to solve crimes for the police; Monk used to work for them. About his former job he once said, “I couldn't change the world, I knew that. But I could fix little pieces of it.” All this combined makes Monk lead a lonely, isolated, somewhat monk-like existence.

I have three, maybe four, of Monk’s top nine phobias listed above; plus a few of my own that I’m keeping to myself for now. Stick around and I’m sure they will eventually reveal themselves. Maybe we can make a game out of it, since I have decided to document my Monkisms. Then I can put them in order of severity. Wait, I think putting things in order is OCD.

Like Mr. Monk, its possible my number one would be germs. I have been accused of obsessively washing my hands. Here are the facts.

My mother taught me at a young age to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. She also taught me how to balance yourself over a toilet without actually touching it, but that‘s another story. Anyway, I have a very small bladder (I know, too much info) plus I’m a coffee addict; so I have to ‘go’ a lot and I always wash up afterward. I think this is all good and normal and keeps me from catching something. Now when out in public and using their facilities, I use the paper towel that I dry my hands with to open the door. Some think this behavior odd or would call it a Monkism.

Mother also told us kids to wash up before dinner. Well I certainly do that. I also think it’s a good thing that the person preparing the food has done so with clean hands. Of course, I wash my hands several times during the course of making a meal.

We have all these dogs in our house that constantly demand attention and petting, so I have to wash the dog hair off my hands frequently during the course of a day. I will never forget the morning that my sweet husband brought me a Blueberry Muffin from the kitchen. I was in the recliner with all the dogs in my lap and couldn’t get up without disturbing the delicate balance of nature; which is getting all the dogs positioned around me without causing me to go into spastic leg cramps! But back to the muffin. I reached for the delicious blueberry goodness and noticed the bottom of it was completely covered in white dog hair. My husband insisted that it was not because of his hands. Of course, I later checked the bottom of all the remaining muffins in the kitchen. Yep, all clear.

I always wash my hands after handling a lot of money. I make bank deposits for both of my jobs. The storyteller I work for brings in all these waded up dollar bills from book sales after he performs at schools. I can picture in my mind all those snotty nosed kids handling that money. Yuck! Okay, I’ll give you this one as being obsessive. I don’t think it has been proved that all those nasty bacterium, like Escherichia coli and Staphylococcus aureus, found on our monetary bills actually can make us sick.

For the most part, I think I’m just cautious. I have been spotted spraying Lysol around my house when someone is coughing and sneezing around me. Is this considered germ phobic?

Sister Sightings (1)

New TV show: Eli Stone is enjoyable but it’s a familiar plot if you watch General Hospital. It’s the Nikolas Cassadine story line about a guy who has something in his brain that makes him hallucinate. I was glad to see George Michael employed again. He was in the first episode. Eli’s assistant is the divine Loretta Devine. Her character on “Boston Public” used to tell the principal, “Smell my shoe.” Alias dad Victor Garber is Eli’s boss at the law firm. James Saito plays Dr. Chen, an acupuncturist. He was in several episode of MASH, where he played the South Korean.

Guilty pleasure: American Idol – that crazy brit Simon’s ego trip cracks me up.

Funny clip on TV: From VH1’s Best Week Ever - Carol Channing at her bank when it was robbed. They impersonated her declaring, “I was Whawwwbed. They Whawwwbed us!

In the news: Max Baer, Jr’s live-in girlfriend committed suicide. Max played Jethro Bodine on Beverly Hillbillies. He is currently trying to build a casino that would include a signature oil derrick. “We-l-l doggies!

Comparison: Max Baer, Jr. and Wayne Newton’s new face. Do they have the same Nevada surgeon?

New CD: Taylor Dayne, “Satisfied.” This is her first CD in about ten years. Sultry and soulful. Just beautiful. She sings the Red Hot Chili Peppers hit song Under The Bridge and The Rolling Stones' song Fool To Cry.

Local celebrity: Councilman Warren had a half page commentary in last Saturday’s newspaper. Subject – Cost of County Jail. Friday night he was interviewed on the local news. Subject – Shooting at City Council meeting in MO.

Monkisms: Cringing when snotty nosed husband handed me the remote. Turning the door knob to enter snotty nosed husband’s office.

Urgent message to Stoners in Florida: The Highway Patrol found the 60 pounds of marijuana plants that you stuffed into two large garbage bags. To claim, phone 1-800-UBU-STED

Cheers Me!

I’m trying to force myself to leave the comfort of my home more. It’s month two and I’ve gone out two times. That may not sound like a lot to most people. I can tell you that it is two more times than I had gone out at this same time last year.

The funny thing is that I really enjoyed myself both times. I think it had a lot to do with the company I was keeping. I started off by going out on New Year’s Eve. Might as well start new behaviors at the beginning of the year, when everything is new and full of promise.

There’s a big joke in my household because I’m never, ever awake on New Year’s Eve. This was probably only the second or third time in the past fourteen years that I actually stayed up until midnight.

I do recall ringing in the Millennium. My daughter and I ribbed my husband because he was very concerned about Y2K; to the point of us calling him Chicken Little, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” She even made him a large sign in case he wanted to stand on the street corner and proclaim that ‘The End Is Near.’ It was all in great fun!

 

1-1-08

This year we went out to a local bar and met up with some  friends to listen to the blues band, Blueprint. They were the scheduled entertainment for the evening.

A couple of the members of this band and my husband have known each other for several decades. They only look slightly different than they did in the 70's when they were in the band Fragile.

It was very loud; you couldn’t even carry on a conversation without yelling. We enjoyed the music and we enjoyed the unscheduled entertainment too. That would be watching the drunk people around us. Drunken people are always very entertaining. “Cheers Me!”

Someone even got up and danced at one point. I think it was the dance that Elaine performed on Seinfeld.

I’m not big on the bar scene; it’s way too smoky for me. We stopped and dropped our attire just inside the doorway when we got home. These articles of clothing went immediately into the washing machine; although I did suggest burning them. I’m a little OCD that way.